$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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