It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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