why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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