The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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