OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
