Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
