so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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