erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
