We won't sleep together?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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