I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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