this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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