and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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