Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
