I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
