I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
