She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
