He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
