Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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