Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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