Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
