i don't like sucking hair
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
