In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
