dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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