Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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