hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
