My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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