Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
