I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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