i think i have herpe
just one?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I stole a fireplace last night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
