Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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