yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
