At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
