she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
