Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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