New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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