i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
if only i could text you this smell
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Pants are for mortals
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
