How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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