I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
