I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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