You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize