Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
