he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
