as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize