some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
