mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
