can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
