So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
