me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
