his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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