I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
