thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
