Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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