he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
