i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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