It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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